


Breaking Down

by rebelkingbell



Series: Ceremonials [2]
Category: The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:56:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3546869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelkingbell/pseuds/rebelkingbell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cindy ponders the danger faced by her motley crew of friends in space only hours earlier, and reflects on a moment when she saves Neutron from sure death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking Down

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place directly after one of my favorite episodes: Win, Lose, Kaboom.
> 
> Quick recap of the plot points relevant to comprehending this: one of the tasks the gang must undertake in order to save Earth on an intergalactic gameshow involves an obstacle course wherein their opponents lead them into believing there is a shortcut. The shortcut turns out to be a deadly illusion that messes with their heads and Cindy's quick thinking saves them. By the time they are conscious, their opponents have almost completed the race. Teamwork leads them to the finish line, but not before they go through one last lethal hurdle that almost claims Jimmy's life. When Jimmy almost dies, Cindy panics and is the only one to rush forward to save him in what is one of my favorite moments in this show's history.
> 
> I've always thought about that subtle but death-defying moment and how much Jimmy really does mean to Cindy, so I decided to write this. I'm rather proud of it. I hope you enjoy it too!

_All alone_  
_Even when I was a child._

 _I've always known_  
_There was something to be frightened of._

**_\- Breaking Down_ **

* * *

 Cindy lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. Everything in her room was a garish shade of pink and it made her sick to her stomach. Just thinking of the hell they'd been through was enough to send her head spinning. How many more times could a couple of kids single-handedly save the world? How many more times until their luck ran out? She rolled over on one side, and clutched a throw pillow to her chest to ward off the gnawing fear in her heart. It seemed these 'adventures', if one chose to assign them such a name, had more effect on her than anyone else. She resented the anxiety that came with each new mishap borne of Neutron's stupidity. How she loathed him…despised him…and yet…Before she could complete the thought, her eyes began to droop shut. Her mind was clouded with fatigue and her body relished the safety of a warm bed. Slowly succumbing to her sleepiness, she slipped into a state of temporary unconsciousness…

_Jimmy's standing next to her on the ledge. Her heart is pounding like a hammer in her ribcage. The zombie versions of their parents are seconds away from destroying them or killing them, and she just knows they have to jump. The pure shock will release them from the chains of the dream. Her gut tells her this is the right thing to do, and it's never been wrong before. At least in regards to matters of life and death…_

_She's easily convinced the other three kids. Libby, Sheen and Carl clasp their hands in a show of blind faith. Only he seems unconvinced. His blue eyes dart behind him, and a flash of fear passes through his features before he looks at Cindy as if everything he's ever known is a lie, a fabrication._

_She just wants him to take her hand. believe in her for once. She hasn't given him reason to trust her, but she wants to live to see another day and she wants so badly for him to take whatever twisted version of an olive branch she can offer with this show of instinctual bravery…_

_They are running low on time. The doors burst open behind them, the adults making their way towards the children. Jimmy bites his lip and finally grabs her outstretched hand. They collectively jump. His grip on her hand is iron-like, enough to numb her fist for another hour. But if a bruised hand is the price she must pay for his faith, she will gladly pay it. Her eyes are closed as they descend into never-ending blackness, only to land headfirst into a landscape of red dust. Her eyes flutter open and catch the light. He glances at her shyly before helping himself up. She offers him a nod of respect and his lips betray the slightest hint of a smile before a frown overtakes his mouth. The Brains are ascending the steps to the finish-line..._

Cindy's eyes flew open in panic. She rolled over, groaning. Why wouldn't her brain stop? She just wanted some peace, some repose. Rest wasn't something she got too much of. This was a prime opportunity to enjoy the merits of having experienced a life-threatening situation unfold before her. Her mother couldn't possibly resume her academic crusade for another day or two at the very least and until then, she would do well to take every minute of respite that came her way. Forcing her eyes shut, she lulled herself back into a state of slumber…

_Everyone has managed to jump through the clawing port of hell. Neutron and her are holding up the last crowbar. She gazes over her shoulder, catching a glimpse of the cotton of his soft red shirt. Tension grips her as she realizes they can't both go. Someone has to stay behind and hold the bar in._

_She opens her mouth to protest. But he spurs her on, his voice taking a tone she's rarely heard in all their time together. "Just go, Vortex!"_

_She throws him one last look before taking a leap of death through the infernal device. She lands on her stomach, and looks down to see blood trickling down her knee. She's dealt with worse. Right now, she just wants Neutron to be on the same side as them. As her. Libby, Carl and Sheen have begun running up the steps, but Cindy has eyes for no one but Neutron. His eyes are unmistakably filled with fear. He gulps and launches himself through. Cindy's heart is pulsating wildly in her chest. Suddenly, she watches in horror as one of the claws drags him back by the skin of his spine. Terror grips her whole body and she runs forward, leaving behind her laborious pretense of indifference._

_"Neutron!" She shrieks his name as if that alone can save him. She seizes the cold metal wildly and it gives her scars across her arm. She drags his body through the arch, but the claw, in one last, desperate movement, tows him backwards yet again. Cindy lets out a bloodcurdling scream. Her lifeblood stolen from her in the matter of a few nanoseconds—_

_His body lies helpless, writhing on the hard ground, and Cindy can't help but let out a wail. Libby, Sheen, and Carl have already begun running back down and she hears the echoes of victory music playing in what seems like the far distance as the Brains squirm to the finish line. She drops to her knees. What does it matter anyway? What kind of world is worth existing sans Jimmy?_

Cindy awoke in a fit of cold sweat. Her pillows were wet with perspiration and tears. She hadn't even known she'd been crying in her sleep. She looked out the window. The sun was starting to rise outside, and the sky was in that volatile phase between dark and light, night and day. She breathed in and out to calm herself down and slowly rested her back against the headboard of her bed.

She persisted in looking out the window. She suddenly realized that the boy genius's bedroom lights were on. His curtains were drawn the slightest bit, enough to alert her to the fact that he wasn't sleeping in his bed. Then, out of the blue, his big head appeared, half concealed by the curtains. His expression was ambiguous, but weariness was readily present in his countenance. He cocked his head to the side in a sort of curiosity and she realized she must look absolutely ghastly. The thought of him seeing her like this brought a blush to her cheeks, but she tried to suppress it. Getting out of bed, she stood by the window and propped her head on her hands. He sighed deeply and yawned before pointing downwards. She got the hint and minutes later, she had slid down the ragged tiles on the part of the roof outside her room. She figured a few more cuts wouldn't be too much of a burden given her condition.

Cindy's first thought as her feet touched the cool grass on her lawn was that she had just dreamt of an alternate universe in which the boy in front of her was dead. The idea was enough to make her rather weak at the knees. He noticed her vulnerability and rushed forward to help her.

"Always the show-off, Neutron." She smirked at him but berated herself internally for her coldness. It seemed it had become an impenetrable mechanism over the years.

Jimmy chose to ignore her comment and instead looked at her, worried. "Are you okay, Cindy?"

She softened at the use of her first name, and straightened herself out, standing on her own two feet now.

She contemplated lying, but her appearance would speak volumes more than her words ever could. She decided to pitch it all on the toss. She had to anyways, and if she had to do it prematurely, screw it. Circumstances had dictated even that last entity which she thought she could control: her walls of steel.

She nodded her head no. She fought the urge to spit out the venom creeping along the edges of her tongue. We just went to the seventh circle of hell and back, almost got killed and came close to losing the planet millions call home. Of course I'm not okay, Neutron. But she kept silent.

"I'm not okay either." He admitted sheepishly, putting a hand behind his head to stroke the hair at the base of his neck.

She almost wanted to tell him everything. Just spit it all out. How petrifying it might have been to lose him, how horribly wrong things could have gone, how affected she would be by his absence, but she can barely say a word. Her lips are sealed. Glued shut by trepidation and an all encompassing fear of rejection.

He took her hand and her eyes widened. Then, he offered a raw confession. "Sometimes I wonder if- if we'll be quite as fortunate every time. If I'll end up getting us killed one day."

Her grip immediately tightened around his fingers. "Jimmy-we...we need you."

It wasn't until after he let her simple words sink in, that he realized she was echoing the very first kind words she'd ever said to him. The words that had fueled him in what might have been the lowest point of his life.

"You're a good guy, you know?" She whispered. Then, to save some face, she rolled her eyes. "Even though your enormous ego almost ballooned into an unstoppable force of nature up there."

A small smile occupied his lips for the first time in hours and hours.

Some unknown courage had taken over Cindy and she finally pushed the moment to its peak.

"I know I voted you off, but that doesn't mean-" The words caught in her throat. "That doesn't mean I don't care. That I didn't care." Her voice was so low, he could barely hear her. But he did.

"I know." He squeezed her hand and gazed out at the patches of orange and yellow starting to thread across the sky. They were silent for a moment or two before he ventured to speak.

"And Cindy?"

"Mhmm?"

"Thank you." His words carried an infinite gratitude, and Cindy was filled with relief and a sense of salvation.

"For what?"

"For saving my skin. And everyone's else's."

She took a moment to let it register.

"I hope you'll always be around to tame my ego a little. We need you too."

Cindy's heart swelled with contentment and a sense of utter belonging.

"Of course, that doesn't give you free reign to continue mocking me, but it's a start."

Cindy let a tiny grin escape her as the poisonous fear in her veins started to dissipate. With a new day came new possibilities. New walls to break down, new love to break open. There was always hope, and he gave her the most infinite kind of hope there was. Yes, they'd come close to annihilation, to meeting that great lord- Death, to losing everything. But they hadn't, and even though the idea of survival becoming some sort of miracle was hewn from a foolish sort of mettle, it gave them some amount of solace. However, not even the concept of survival could spur them onwards like their odd, yet strangely evolving connection could...

You know that I can see you coming from the edge of the room  
Creeping in the streetlight  
Holding my hand in the pale gloom  
Can you see it coming now?


End file.
